When did these "Mommy Wars" start? How did our society let this happen? Why do people think it's ok to act like being a mom isn't important?
I have been on both sides of this delicate fence. I have been a mom who worked full-time while my kids were cared for by someone else. I have been a mom who worked full-time running her own business from home. And I am currently a completely stay-at-home mom who does nothing more than see to the needs of her three children, husband and the house. And, boy, do they have a lot of needs!
Does staying home to raise up my little humans make me less important? Less talented? Less evolved? I definitely don't believe so, but there are so many people out there who would want me to think these things are true.
I read this article and it made my blood boil. (And, yes, I realize that I am just going to end up sending more traffic to her site, but that's ok.) She (a never-married, childless woman) basically tells everyone that she thinks SAHMs are not important. She actually says that taking care of your house and kids will never be as important as being a doctor or starting a business. Well, excuse me, but I think that taking care of these little people that I made, making sure they have everything they need and raising them to be exceptional people and productive members of society is pretty damn important!
And, yes, I absolutely understand that I am not performing brain surgery everyday or designing rockets that can fly to outer space, but being a mom is an important one, and a difficult one at that!
I have days when I am so grateful to be here with them. I get to take my two oldest to school everyday. I get to hang out with my little dude all day. I take care of the house, change diapers, fix him meals and play with him all day! I get to pick my two oldest up from school everyday! I get to be the one helping them with homework and taking them to extracurricular activities! I make them dinner every night and put them to bed every night! And, at this point in my life, I don't want it any other way!
There are definitely days when I think things might be easier if I did work outside the home. My youngest would be in daycare instead of home making messes all day for me to clean up. I would have other adults to talk to during the day instead of a toddler and my other kiddos. I would have more ground to stand on for equal contribution to household chores if my husband wasn't the only one working. Our finances would be much better. Having two incomes would mean more eating out and extravagances for our family. It would mean I could get my nails done, buy new clothes and get my hair done more often. But are these things better? I'm not sure they are.
Now, as someone who has been on all sides of this "war", I know that there are easy things, hard things, better things and worse things about each choice. And as mothers, somewhere along the way, we all have to make the choice. Stay home or go to work. Up until we moved to Vegas a year and a half ago, I had always chosen to work. Although, I must admit, that choice was really made for me by our need to be a two income family. Moving allowed me to make the choice I probably would have made from the start- to stay home. And, now, I must also admit that it is much harder than I thought it would be. There are days when I wish I could just clock out for the day! But SAHMs don't have that option. We are on call 24/7. And that's ok with me!
We all have to do what's best for us and our family. We can make different choices and still be great. We can still respect each other enough to let each other do what needs to be done. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.....
So, you can go perform brain surgery, and I'll be over here cleaning the crayon off the wall. But tonight when we tuck our sweet babies in the bed, it won't matter what we did all day. We are moms. And that makes us awesome!
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